Last week while at work I received a text message from my sister. Nothing unusual. Happens all the time. Yet, I was a little scared to read it since I had just published my post about the band audition. Because it meant that my sister had probably found out that I had kept a secret from her. As I’m not known to be a coward I checked the message. It started with: “Hey, future star!” Now that wasn’t a bad start! Followed by: “You didn’t tell me anything” and a sad face. Now that, on the other hand, didn’t sound too good. I knew that she wasn’t all serious about it, but I still felt like I had somehow betrayed her. Not telling when we’re up to something big is a pretty unusual thing to do for us. We practically tell each other everything. There’s probably no person on earth that knows me better than she does. For the record: My Mum claims to be, but she’s definitely not! ;). But with her currently living in Spain, limited time to talk to each other and a very unreliable Skype connection, I never found the right time to tell her. I have to admit that I was a little scared, too. I know that she would never laugh about me for any of my crazy ideas. But I also know that she definitely would have told me if she thought that auditioning for a band would just be plain stupid. It’s her duty as my sister. And I think that’s exactly why I didn’t tell her.
When the opportunity occurred, I even thought about not telling anyone at first. But it’s hard to keep something to yourself that is so exciting and frightening at the same time. I needed to tell someone. Someone who’d understand. Even though my circle of friends isn’t particularly huge, I’m lucky to be surrounded by people who actually get me. People who have dreams and goals and crazy ideas – and are willing to follow them no matter what. People who don’t shy away from a challenge when it occurs. Our talents and interests might be different, but in the end it’s the will to be the person we want to be that unites us. And despite knowing all that, I was pretty nervous to tell them about my plans. I guess because this journey I’ve decided to take is still pretty new to me. I’m still somewhat searching for my place in this strange world that is my life and I have questioned this path more than once. And also because it’s one thing to follow an idea that seems to work out well with your talents and actually has the pontential to become reality – no matter how tiny the chance. And it’s another thing to just chase soap bubbles that will burst sooner or later and leave you with nothing.
The reactions I received however were supportive all the way. My friends were excited for me. They said they thought it was great that I’m trying to be creative and that I want to dive into unknown territory. They even said they admired me for being so brave and strong which is kind of funny because I didn’t feel like that at all. All I expected was a ‘good luck’, nothing more. Yet, what they gave me was their full support, they even somehow believed in me. And that’s what eventually gave me the strength to put my all into it. I would have done it without their support. Oh yes, I’m as stubborn as that! But it’s so much easier when you know that there are people out there who stand behind you no matter what. Even if you fail like I did. They will still say: “It’s awesome that you dared to do it!” Like my sister did who I will never ever keep a secret from again!