Wow, I just came back from a really amazing weekend! Which was related to my favourite band (30 Seconds to Mars). To the lead singer (Jared Leto) to be exact. If you’re a regular reader of my blog, you probably know about my passion for this band by now. And how much their music and their messages have influenced my life. It might sound cheesy and you don’t have to understand it, but I know that I definitely wouldn’t be doing what I am doing now, with my music and everything, if it wasn’t for them. I wouldn’t have had the guts to just do my thing no matter what other people think about it. They showed me a completely different mindset, a whole new universe – and I know that this has happened to a lot of people.
So, a while ago I was talking to a friend who is a painter and designs amazing t-shirts which are inspired by Mars’ music and we came up with the idea that we want to give the guys something back. A piece of our art. As a thank you to show them how inspiring their work is for us. I do know that they get a lot of gifts from people, but somehow it felt important to me. It’s my only way to express my gratitude. Then a couple of weeks ago we found out that Jared would attend the UNESCO charity gala in Düsseldorf. At first we were joking about how we’d go there and give him a CD and a shirt. Then a discussion on the band’s forum came up about how much fun it would be to go there and have a little meet-up and to just see what happens. And so this Saturday I found myself in Düsseldorf with my friend and a girl from the board who had come over from Brussels. The trip would have been well worth it just to hang out with these great people. But it got even better.
When we arrived at the hotel where the gala was taking place in the afternoon, we just walked in and positioned ourselves right by the red carpet and even saw some semi-famous German people walking past. But of course we got sent outside after a while because we didn’t have a room at the hotel. I was almost convinced that now we wouldn’t have a chance to get anywhere near Jared. But surprisingly there was only a small crowd of maybe 40 people waiting outside. Most of them were Mars fans of course. The amount of fangirls and weirdos seemed to be really small luckily, but still waiting wasn’t too much fun since the German weather had suddenly decided to skip autumn and move straight on to winter. I somehow managed to shove myself right in front of the barrier, so I was in the best possible position to hand over my gift. Me and the guys really put some effort into making a proper demo of 3 of our songs. We spent the whole previous weekend recording and the guys were really enthusiastic about it, so I felt I owed it to them to get this done.
My excitement grew a lot when the first cars were arriving and people I had a hard time recognizing or didn’t know at all were walking past us on the red carpet. When the sun went down it got really cold and I couldn’t stop shivering. My hands were really stiff from the cold because I was clinging to my CD and my friend’s shirt. But then Jared finally arrived. Some people were going a little crazy, ran straight towards him and surrounded him while he made his way through the crowd. I know that he must be used to this, but I couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for him. And I was worried he’d get pissed off by those rude people and just run inside. But he’s Jared after all, so he didn’t. He patiently signed stuff, took photos and chatted to people. He made sure that everybody got their chance. It was amazing! And then he was suddenly standing in front of me. I thought I would be completely nervous, not being able to utter a sound, but he’s a human after all. So I gave him my CD and the shirt and said a couple of words about it which he probably didn’t listen to. He said: Wunderbar! and moved on. And I was beyond happy! I really did it!
I have no idea what happened to that CD. He might never listen to it or read the message I included. But then again it doesn’t matter. I took a chance and that feels awesome. I even managed for my CD to be shown on TV without showing my face ;). I made memories that day. And that’s all that counts.
So you know how I’ve been talking about getting an electric guitar for ages? I’ve been dreaming about getting one ever since I started taking guitar lessons almost a year ago. But then I had to spend a fortune on moving to my new apartment. And when I had financially recovered from that I wanted to go on a holiday. There were a million other things I had to spent money on, but 2 weeks ago I finally made my way to the music store to take my new baby home. Of course, I had asked my guitar expert friends about which model would be best for me, because honestly I wouldn’t have had a clue. All I knew was that I wanted it to be red. But that’s probably not the best factor to base your purchase on, right? They did have the model I wanted in red available, so I played it at the shop for a bit. I guess it didn’t quite speak for my guitar skills when the shop clerk said: “We’ve had people that played worse than you”, when I apologized for my horrible try at The All-American Rejects’ Kids in the Street. But who cares. I fell in love with this guitar from the first chord I played on it and I was barely able to put it out of my hand for the first couple of days I owned it. Now playing is so much more fun than on my Dad’s old acoustic guitar. I hope it’s going to be a motivation for me to practice more often. Because that’s really a problem. I’m certainly not the most talented person and more than often my fingers are not doing what I want them to, but I know I could be so much better if I just practiced more regularly. Finding time is a big problem, but sometimes I’m also just lazy. So, prepare yourself, neighbours! It might get a little noisier downstairs from now on. Rock on!
So, it was my birthday on Friday and I finally said goodbye to my 20s. And surprise! 30 doesn’t feel much different than 29. Not yet at least. I’m really looking forward to what this new decade of my life is going to bring. When I look back to 10 years ago, I feel like I’m almost a completely different person. Of course, I am still me, but I have grown so much, I have learned so much about myself and life in general, I’ve had so many great adventures – I just can’t wait to see what else there is for me. And I feel like I’m having a much better starting point right now than I had 10 years ago. I’m not that insecure anymore, I feel like now I know myself so much better than I did back then and most of all: I know what I want in life, I am willing to be brave and to fight for what I believe in. I don’t pay that much attention to what other people are thinking or saying about me. I just do my thing and move forward, little by little everyday. And I wouldn’t want to trade this attitude for anything in the world.
It’s interesting how I only just found the strength to be that kind of person within the past year. I guess it was inside of me for a long time, but it is only recently that I’m brave enough to put it into action. And even though it has only been a short time, a lot of amazing things have happened. It just occured to me on my birthday party when I was looking at all those amazing people that had come to celebrate with me. I am blessed with so many great people in my life, some of whom have been my friends for a long time and some of whom I’ve just met over the past year. And I am grateful for each and every one of them. I am grateful that they support me even if sometimes they don’t completely understand me or what it is that I am fighting for. And then there are those people who share dreams with me, who believe in me, who see something in me that sometimes I don’t even see. And that’s the most amazing thing. Without all those people in my life, I wouldn’t be where I am now. So much has happened over the past year, sometimes it seems like a miracle to me. Things that I never would have imagined and that surely wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t have the support of all those amazing people. So yeah, I can’t wait to see which adventures are waiting for me in my 30s. There sure are a lot of challenges ahead. I’m in now way where I want to be some day. But I’m getting closer to it every single day. And that feels great!
“Whoa” is exactly what my life is like right now. I hate that I have to apologize again for neglecting this place, for not having been around when I wanted to. Believe me, I’ve been here in my thoughts many times, collecting ideas for posts. I just absolutely didn’t have the time for it. You’ll see when you’ve read the “whoas” that are currently keeping me busy ;).
- Whoa, I’ve turned into a machine! Involuntarily. At least that’s what I’m feeling like. A machine that’s working and working and working and almost never gets to rest. Work’s been really tough lately. Probably one of the toughest times I’ve ever experienced. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a problem with working hard and/or a lot. What I do have a problem with, though, is having to get up for work early for 3 weeks straight without being able to sleep in just once. Today has actually been the first day in 3 weeks that I got to do that. It felt like heaven. And it was more than necessary. I’m not sure if I could’ve gone on like that much longer. I was so exhausted, I felt like a zombie – and I’m sure I looked like one, too. Horrible! And the worst thing is that I still felt like I wasn’t resilient enough. Stupid, right? I have no idea yet when and if the situation will change, but I will fight for my right, that’s for sure.
- Whoa, we have found a drummer! Yay, the band is coming along really well. It’s amazing what becomes of a song when you add drums to it. When I listen to the things we’ve created it still seems like a miracle to me. I never thought I would be where I am now a couple of months ago when I had this idea of founding a band. And I’m sure that’s what the majority of people I told about it was thinking. Now all we need is a bass player and we’re complete. There’s actually talk going on about hitting the stage sometime next year. I have to hyperventilate at the mere thought of that and there’s still a lot of hard work to do until we reach that point where we’re actually ready to step in front of other people and share our creations with them. But I’m convinced that in the end we’ll get there and it’s going to be the beginning of an amazing adventure.
- Whoa, I’m turning 30! Oh yes, next Friday this girl here will have to say goodbye to her 20s. And you know what, I’m actually looking forward to it. The last 10 years have been an exciting ride and I’m sure the next will be even more so. I have a nice little party planned and can’t wait to celebrate with all those great people in my life. I’ll even have a friend from London coming over who I haven’t seen in 4 years. Good times!
- Whoa, there’s more! I’m finally going to buy an electric guitar which I’m sure will entertain not just me, but the whole neighbourhood ;). I’ll see Billy Talent live on Sunday. If you haven’t listened to their new album “Dead Silence” yet, go and get it. It’s a powerful piece of music. I’ll have a meet up with people from a 30 Seconds to Mars forum where I’m probably spending too much time. I’m really looking forward to meeting some amazing people and having a good time. There is also a little mission involved as a certain lead singer is supposed to be in town that day.
So yeah, my life is pretty crazy right now. And as much as I like craziness, I could do with a little less just for a little while.