So, I’m on holiday this week! Big yay! This is probably one of the most deserved holidays I’ve ever had. And I had my last holiday just 3 months ago. I feel like from the beginning of September I got sucked into this crazy work schedule and have tried to get out of it ever since. Don’t get me wrong, I can sure take some stress, pressure and a heavy workload. But if someone would’ve told me what was lying ahead of me at the time I probably would’ve run away screaming. Instead I hung in there hoping it would get better. But somehow it never really did, except for a couple of days in between which weren’t enough to take a breath. Sometimes I felt like the only option I had to get out of this was to either run away or break down. I did neither, but there were times when I felt like I wasn’t able to go on much longer. It’s amazing to see that I actually could. But to be honest, I don’t wanna do it again. And I hope that things will get better. At least a little bit.
What I hate the most about the past weeks is that I feel like I didn’t have any time to live at all. All I did was work, work, work and when I didn’t have to work on the weekends I was so tired that all I wanted was to sleep. My apartment turned into a dirty mess because I couldn’t be fucked to clean it up. I still made time to make music though and that is probably what saved me. It was something to look forward to, the only time I could feel connected to myself. I get miserable when I don’t have enough time to myself, time to be me. I can’t tell you how happy I am right now that at least for one week I’m getting a break from all this. I can’t believe it’s almost Christmas already. In my head it’s still the end of summer. But anyway, I’m gonna spend this week doing things just for myself. Of course, I’m gonna make as much music as I can. I’m gonna organise the chaos that still surrounds me at home. I’m gonna visit my sister for a couple of days and enjoy some quality time with her. And just live. As much as I can in those couple of days. And then it won’t be far until the Chrismas break.
To all those people who are also having to deal with live’s crazy ways, I hope you’re making sure to take a breath once in a while. Take care of yourselves!