Yay, I’m finally back online! I was planning to be back a week ago already, but thanks to German customer service which is anything but reliable I had to wait for another week to be connected again. The past 2 weeks have been busybusybusy. And suddenly we’re almost one week into February! Can you believe it? I couldn’t help but remember a post I wrote exactly a year ago in which I was surprised at how fast the first month of the year had passed – and I felt like I hadn’t accomplished anything at all. Again this year, I feel like time is racing at the speed of light. But unlike last year I’ve accomplished a lot during this first month of the year already.
First of all, there was the move to our new apartment = loads of work. But everything went surprisingly well. We managed to move all our stuff to the new place and to clean and refurbish the old one in just one weekend. Thanks to our amazing family who helped us where they could. We’re still pretty much living in chaos, but the boxes are getting less and less and this week our brand new kitchen arrived. We only had to live without a kitchen for a week which was bearable, but I’m so glad that from now on it won’t take us ages and 5 trips through the whole apartment to make coffee in the morning. We’re both madly in love with this new place and I can’t wait to see what it looks like when it’s finally finished in a few weeks. I might even share a few impressions soon.
As if a move wasn’t enough, I was also pretty busy at work. We had a presentation for a new client last week which had to be set up within a ridiculously short time frame. I was really keen on working on this project because it was a challenge and something different from the usual. But as an introvert I hate nothing more than speaking in front of people. I just hate it. I know it’s part of my job and I also know that nothing bad can happen. But just the mere thought of holding a presentation in front of strangers makes me feel really uncomfortable. This whole situation, with the move on the side, was a pretty big test for me. It was the first time I was thrown into a somewhat stressful situation at work after my breakdown. It was my time to prove that I’m capable of handling stressful situations again and that I’ve overcome that fear of failure which used to put so much pressure on me.
I have to say it wasn’t easy. Deep down I was a little scared I’d get back into that vicious cycle it took me so long to get out of. There were a few days where I could feel my stress level and the pressure on myself rising again. So much so that I wasn’t able to sleep very well. It worried me. But I knew what I had to do. I breathed, I calmed myself down and took care of myself. And in the end everything worked out fine. Heck, It worked out brilliantly because: We won!!! Of course, I was completely exhausted after the presentation was over. After all the tension had fallen off. But in a good way. I managed to handle this challenge in a healthy way. To face my fears and get over them. It might not look like something big to others. But it’s a big success for me. I’m very much looking forward to everything going back to a little less stressful level. But I’m sure the next challenge is right around the corner. And I won’t be scared of it.