Yesterday I went on a short business trip to Berlin. When I left Frankfurt early in the morning the weather was grey and cold and just really unpleasant. Just the way it has been for most of the past months. But suddenly, when the plane broke through the clouds, the sky was all bright and blue. I had finally found the place where the sun, that little bastard, had been hiding all the time. I just sat there watching the beautiful scenery. The white, fluffy clouds looked like I could just jump right into them. And I started dreaming. Of the places I want to travel to this year. Of the adventures waiting for me. This year I want to travel near and far. To places I’ve never been before and to places I’ve wanted to return to in a long time. And the great thing is that this year I won’t have to worry if someone is going to join me, if I’ll be able to find a travel companion who likes to do and see the same things. No, this year I have someone by my side who shares that adventurous spirit with me. And I couldn’t be any happier about this!
Do you have any travel plans for 2013 yet? I’d like to hear about them!
Wow, I can’t believe the first month of this year is already over. Where the hell did January go?And why do I feel like I haven’t achieved much this year yet? I know that 2013 is still young, but somehow I’d expected a little more from what’s supposed to be the greatest, most adventurous and amazing year of my life. January has always felt like a pain in the ass, but it did feel particularly annoying this year. I can really feel how the dark and uncomfortable weather is getting to me, a little more each day. Last week I literally dragged my lethargic body through the week. In the evenings I was so tired I wasn’t capable of doing anything. Not in the household (which was in desperate need of being tidied) or for my various private projects. Which made me feel even more miserable. But I’ve decided that this has to change – no matter if this winter will finally decide to leave or not. I need to kick myself in the ass, get off the cozy couch and just do!
Musicwise February was already off to a good start. We managed to practice 2 nights in a row (to make up for the week during which we didn’t do a thing) and already saw some progress. We’ve actually come up with a pretty cool plan to work on while it’s still only the 2 of us. We already set up the plan back in January, but it’s been growing ever since and will now be taken into action, step by step. It’s gonna be an exciting ride, for sure. There’s lots of fun things we wanna do and try and I can’t wait for it. It’s finally time to put ourselves out there. Of course, I’ll keep you posted!
I also wanna go out more often again. When I first moved here, I was out somewhere at least 2 nights a week. At the moment I’m even staying in on weekends. Which is just lame! I mean I’m 30, but I’m no granny yet. And in a city like Frankfurt there’s lots of stuff to do. I’m also currently planning a schedule for a trip to London over Easter. And I’ve added another ticket to my 2013 concert collection which now makes 4 concerts and 1 festival to look forward to this spring/summer.
Lots of great things ahead. It’s time to get off the couch!
Anyone else missing the sun right now? I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to the first spring days. Bright and sunny with the fresh smell of flowers in the air. Days where I don’t have to leave the house when it’s still dark and return when it’s dark again. Or when it stays so dark all day that you need to leave the light turned on all the time. In a way it’s fascinating how the absence or presence of light influences us. I do feel like my body is hibernating at the moment. I’m constantly tired and kinda lacking motivation, even for things I usually love to do. I’m still pushing through, but it takes a lot more effort than it usually does.
How much of a difference a day of light makes became clear to me when we had an unusually sunny weekend a week ago. We had blue skies and sun all day from Friday to Sunday. It was amazing! I tried to soak up as much sunlight as I could. It felt like it was straightly turned into energy once it hit my skin. Seriously! For the next couple of days I was full of energy and got so many things done I had been putting off for ages. Sadly, we’re back to the dark and gray days now. I really hope this will change sooner rather than later. Because I got a lot of things on my list this spring. There are exciting times ahead! Which will hopefully lead to more exciting blog posts than this one. 😉
Wow, can you believe that half of 2012 is already over? Where the heck did the time go again? Personally, my last day of the first half of this year was pretty great. I spent it at my parents’ place. My sister just returned from 5 months in Spain and I hadn’t seen her since Easter. So we just enjoyed being reunited as a family, catching up on the things that have been going on in our lives. It was probably one of the hottest days of the year so far, with a clear blue sky and the sun burning down on us. In the evening, the sky was suddenly full of dark clouds and then the biggest hailstorm I have ever seen in my life came down. The streets were quickly covered with lots of big white hailstones. I was pretty happy we made it inside in time because I’m sure it would have hurt as hell to be outside in that crazy weather. I watched that natural spectacle from the window and I came to think that, just like the weather, life can change in the blink of an eye. From sunshine to rain (or hail) and back. And hinestly, that’s pretty much what my first life of 2012 has been like.
I started 2012 from a very low point. I was going through a dark valley of discontent and restlessness. I knew that I needed a change in my life, that I needed to find a new direction. At first, this change happened jobwise. I had been pretty unhappy with my job situation back then, so finding a new job without even really looking for it was a great relief. But still, I hadn’t really found what I was looking for – until one day I was lying sick on the couch and I found a song in my head. This quickly turned into a pretty big idea, so I secretly formed a plan that I’ve been following ever since. And it’s been working out pretty well. I’m at the start of something new and exciting – and over time I even found the courage to tell people about it. I know that some of them are quietly laughing about me, thinking I’ve gone crazy. But guess what: I don’t give a dam! Because in 2012 I’ve learnt not to hide my true self anymore. I am who I am and I have every right to be the person I want to be. And so does everybody else. Funnily, the people who seem to make fun of you the most are the ones who are unhappy with their lives themselves, but just don’t dare to make a change.
These changes in my life came with something else that I’ve been lacking for quite a long time. I’m finally having a social life again. I don’t really know why I never managed to make real friends back where I lived before. I think it was partly the circumstances of living on the outskirts of a smaller city where I had to take a bus to get to the city center and the commute to work that didn’t leave that much free time during the week. But I also think that I just got lazy after a while. I’m not a loner, but I do enjoy having time to myself, so I didn’t mind too much. It gave me a lot of time to breed over my ideas. The bad thing was that I was solely dreaming and thinking. Now I’m not just a dreamer anymore. I’m a dreamer and a doer! And I’m so glad I made this transformation. Because I love my new life! I feel that I’ve moved a huge step closer to my real self and I’m not scared to show it to others.
I’m really excited about the second half of 2012. It’s gonna be an amazing summer. I’ve got a couple of concerts lined up I wanna go to, I’ll be working my ass off in the rehearsal room and maybe I’ll even have time for some travels. And then we’ll see what happens from there. All I know is that I’m on the right path and I won’t let anyone or anything stop me from moving forward.
What about you? What have you planned for the rest of 2012? I’d love to hear about your plans!
I’m a planner. Before starting a new project, I like to plan everything out in the best possible way. I like to think ahead, to make myself aware of all the obstacles that might block my way and of what I might get myself into. Usually, this kind of thinking would lead me to – exactly nowhere. Especially when you try something new, something you have never done before in your life, thinking about all the possibilities that might occur makes you aware of a couple of things: That you’ll start out with nothing, like a baby that gets thrown out of the cozy womb into the harsh world. That it will require a lot of hard work and commitment to finally evolve from the infant status. And that there’s no garuantee that you will succeed in the end. These thoughts used to lead me to the conclusion, that it wasn’t worth trying, that my ideas were just stupid and were better just left ideas.
But I was wrong – not only about not daring to actually follow my ideas, but also about the way I was planning them in my head. I don’t know why, but when I started this whole music/band thing, I took a different approach. I broke the project down into smaller steps that needed to be taken in order to reach the goal. Now each step is a goal of itself – and will be a success if I do reach it. It’s a great way not only to keep track of the overall goal, but to keep myself motivated. So the first goal I set for myself was to find other people who wanted to work on my songs with me. As you might remember, I failed in my first attempt. But then again, I think that it was actually good that things turned out this way. Because joining an existing band that already had some material and had found their own style, wasn’t exactly what I’m looking for. I don’t want to be pressed into a pattern that isn’t me. I want to start my own thing, I want to bring in my own style and ideas – and I want to find like-minded people who are looking for the same.
So I was beyond happy when I received a message from a guitarist who had found my ad on the internet a couple of weeks ago. He sounded decent and motivated and he, too, was looking for people to start a band project with. He asked me to send him recordings of the songs I had already written, so I took my crappy mic and sang my songs for him with all my heart. I was actually pretty sure I would never hear from him again. When I performed one of my songs at the band audition the guys weren’t very impressed by it, so why would this guy be? But he replied. And he said that he liked my stuff, that he thought that we could actually turn them into some great songs if we worked on it together and that we should meet for a rehearsal. Wow! There it was. I could see the finishing line of goal number 1 coming up in the distance.
Last week, I met with the guy and it was just amazing! Like a miracle. I had waited for this day for a long time and suddenly there it was. I was singing my songs and the guy was playing his guitar to it – and after some rehearsing and experimenting it really started to sound like proper music. It was so much fun that we spent almost 3 hours in the rehearsal room. And when we left we were both carrying a huge smile on our faces. He told me that he really liked my material and that he’d like to meet again for another session. I can’t tell you how strange it feels when someone’s telling you that he actually likes your creative output which you’ve been working on quietly in your home for all this time. It’s probably one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve ever been able to make.
I can’t believe that goal number 1 is actually achieved. I’m beyond happy to be this lucky and I feel like this is the beginning of an interesting and exciting journey. The next goal is to find other people to join us, so we can actually start to work on the songs as a real band. No matter how long it will take and how hard this journey will be, I know one thing: I am already a winner. Because I dared to take the first step. Because I’ve achieved something noone can ever take away from me. So what’s your next step?